Toast
4 05 2007I fail at everything I want to be good at - and most things I don’t, with the principal exception of failure. I’m good at that. However, this ridiculous self-deprecating deathbag alter-ego cunt chutzpah Weimar reinstallation FUCK FACE RADIO FREQUENCY SHITBAG will not break me. Neither will the continued success of others slapping me in the face every day, or the death of everything I cultivate (that really happens). No! Because I am decadent! AND THE BOURGEOISIE JUST DON’T DIE.
You know what? FUCK THIS SHIT. I scapegoat no-one. I only have myself to blame, so I do. It’s simple - why doesn’t it turn out right?
Maybe this is how it’s meant to turn out.
League tables, pressure, depression, failure, hormones combined with comfy middle-class decadence. I’m not good at sport and I’m not good at academia. I don’t mean anything to anyone. If I studied hard I could improve and then be my reputation. They’ll grade us on a curve! They’re including everyone! Shit, fuck, fuck it. Fuck. Did I mention fuckshit? Well, I tried. I tried fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck cunts. I don’t believe your lies! I don’t even want this to swim cunt. SHIT. Don’t give up on me! Wait, do. That way it’ll be less disappointing. TROGDOR! You may see someone tonight. Will you be the one that saves my life?
:’(
Pax
Swearing!
HI
You know what? I actually felt that way last week. Like I was good for nothing. That there are better people than me. But fuck them, they don’t get to enjoy what i have cause they are busy pleasing others. At least, if I fail, I don’t have to worry about anything, coz i know people don’t expect much from me. Well, fuck them. I like the cussing and swearing part. hehe. I hope you feel better in the days to come. though i dont know what’s causing it, i hope you’d get through it.
Ciao
Your concern is noted and appreciated; you don’t need to worry though - my behaviour is highly polar and my mood fluctuates so much that I always pull through.