psyche

Do yourself a favour and watch it. I don’t think I have anything special, but I’ll try my best!

Pax

I am in a strange state, having played various Command & Conquer games for almost two days with breaks only to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. I am hopeful that I’ll learn a lot in computing next year and it’s a shame I have to play off chemistry against computing for A2. If I could do both, I would. Does anyone know if we can do five? Does Further Maths count as a half at A2?
Anyway, this is a society in which we are born into and given a choice: accept the system or be rejected and imprisoned/killed. The system is such that either one works and gains money required to live (because life has been monopolised by “civilisation”) or one fails at life, simply put. Previously, we sort of hunted for food, or something. Now the system provides us with energy and sustenance in exchange for co-operation (not in a political way - simply fuelling the massive machine that is civilisation by working and perpetuating it). We are disconnected from the real world, living out our lives fascinated by things which mean nothing, oblivious as nature is harvested, sinking into consumerism and decadence as the reality of nature becomes more horrific and less likely to ever be understood.

What is The Matrix? Guess. The really saddening thing about having been brought up in a mass-media culture is that the logic I know, the criticial reasoning I believe to be sound, may be such a narrow viewpoint that I will never understand the bigger picture, but hey, I’ll try!

We are the pwned generation, it seems.

Pax

Ian (our current sabre coach) is leaving at some point, and will be replaced by Mathieu, a French Olympic medallist and leftie like Ian who fenced with Ian for several years in France. I think Mathieu hates me; he looks fairly neutral when speaking but when I am nearby he adopts a sort of sour expression. Perhaps I’m misreading it. I did the Junior Club Sabre because our retarded club (D) decided not to send anyone, and won my matches very narrowly, but the final result was satisfactory - goodness knows our club needs the points!

I’ll have to appear to be extremely nice and enthusiastic instead of arrogant and disillusioned to win Mathieu over!

Pax

My mock GCSE grades:

(Ten per cent was added to everyone’s music mark to represent coursework, effectively boosting us all one grade - this is my boosted result)

Pax

If your response to the title of this post would be “Yes they are”, you have pure arrogance and I hate you. If it’d be “They’re not that bad”, you’re either an understating sympathiser or (argh) someone who did better than me and half-wants not to seem arrogant but is secure enough in their own power that they don’t care about silly quirks in their image.

We got the first wave of exam results back today, and as predicted I did moderately well (which wasn’t that well if the rest of the school is taken into account) and Elliot did extremely well as always (at least dying in his shadow will be less painful than living in it - I crack myself up). Anyway, no matter how these turn out, I don’t like them.

There is something wrong! It’s ironic that I try to get rid of these disgusting social traditions of arrogance, narcissism and shamelessness but at the same time am mediocre enough that my theories can, and will, be disregarded as disillusionment.

Again, perhaps this is true, and when confronted with superiors, I simply break down. So be it, then. In other news, and on behalf of William Morland, vote Veronica Belmont.

Pax

The sociology of a world in which we are all mindfucked and in which lies are almost always credible and people get away with everything is much more complex that I care to boast about.

Okay, firstly:

Fake Modesty
This is an important and prevalent device, which is also extremely annoying.

1: How was your Sociology exam?
2: It was okay but I know I’ve messed up every question because I’m really bad at Sociology.
1: But you said yesterday that you’ve consistently come top of your class in terms of test results, displaying extreme arrogance and tactlessness which was above the norm but low enough that it would look odd if I killed you.
2: Yeah… but… but… aw you got me, I can’t refute my own greatness.
1: *becomes enraged and then commits suicide*

2 is here using fake modesty and the following irrefutable paradox to boost their image (assuming there are other people).

I don’t know what it is about things but almost everyone (yes I know I do as well, don’t be a cynic) has such an inflated self-image that it’s unbearable but also consistently gets away with it. Hallmarks of this evil include:

• Responding to a speaker when they are addressing your group but not you specifically
• Being a dick
• Complimenting someone when they fail
• Falsely putting oneself down in the knowledge that people who are accustomed to telling the truth will refute it and boost your image
• Telling someone that “Person X is good at Y”, Y being something that the teller would like to be good at but has failed at. However, the teller has sufficient skill in, say, Z that the teller can appear to be accepting X’s power when in fact the teller is utilising a sort of fake modesty. “Oh I am terrible at Parapsychology. I’m only good at Sociology.” = “I tried and failed to compete with X’s natural/earned talent in Y, so I’m staying out of that theatre until I’ve done some revision, taken some tutoring, lied that I haven’t and then I can burst in and be a perfect little genius again.”

There are others but I’m murderously angry and thus cannot think straight or retrieve them from my brain. If only characteristics like greed, arrogance and sadism weren’t so highly correlated with natural talent or skill. I suppose it makes people who are smart or good at something but not total twats seem completely messianic - similarly it messiah-ifies people who can prevent their evil aspects from being seen, which is important in our media culture in which we hardly meet politicians: we only see their public image, which is theirs to shape.

Pax

Exams are over. I made some retarded errors in the Physics Challenge, and there were gaps in my understanding, but I did it, and fine. Fine, you know? Just fine. Stupid exams. It’s partly my fault that I’m so stupid, but not enough that I can’t blame others.

I ask you: Is it true that many compliments are indirectly self-aggrandising?

e.g.

1 beats 2 at Tiddlywinks

2: Argh. I suck at Tiddlywinks.
1: No, you’re good! Come on.
2: Are you saying that so it seems even better that you beat me?
1: What? I’m sorry, I, being a member of the human race and subject to western society’s mindfucking, reject your strange social theory as abnormal and polarise the group against you. Goodbye, social retard.
2: *dies*

Pax

They’re all over; I have the Physics Challenge (…) at 11:45 so I’m just killing time by looking at Wikipedia articles.

Examinations, I think, test the following skills - not each separately, but the capacity to deploy them all to some degree to secure a high mark:

• The ability to recall a large amount of information from a subject course without revision
• The ability to revise a subject course over a long period to gain a firm understanding of the material
• The ability to learn a large amount of information in a small amount of time, often under pressure
• The ability to make lies credible during an examination, under pressure and time constraint
• The possession of a high degree of intuition pertaining to the subject to be examined

Pax